Love yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

They say you need to love yourself before you're ready to love anyone else, or before you're ready for someone else to love you. We all have those days of self loathing and wondering why the heck am I like I am, but at the end of the day, you are the best thing that's ever happened, and going to happen, to yourself. If you don't love yourself, appreciate yourself, value yourself and think in your head every day that " girl(or guy!), you're pretty damn amazing!", then how can you expect anyone else to think that way? A big part of attraction towards other people, and especially the opposite sex, is the way you carry yourself, the way you represent yourself, and the way you show the world that you're ready to kick some ass if you need to. 


Here's a few reasons why it is so very important to love yourself and how do you learn to cherish all the amazing features you have in you (even on the bad days).

1. You will accept yourself. You might not like the shape of your nose, or the super annoying high pitched laughter you have, or even the short temper you sometimes just simply cannot control, or the fact that sometimes you just can't succeed in every single thing you do. But when you love yourself, you will accept your flaws, your quirky features, your little unique traits and potentials. When you love yourself, you don't have the need to compare yourself to others and therefore affect your self image in a harmful way. You'll feel powerful and inspired.

2. It's a huge confidence boost. Yes confidence can come from external factors, but you are the most important person in your own life - so it should be your own opinion about yourself that gives you the confidence to carry yourself with pride. Act with confidence and you'll surely attract some good people in your life, it is a well known fact that we are attracted to confident people. I was told the other day by someone that I am probably one of the most confident woman they have ever met in their life, but trust me - I don't always feel that way and I certainly have not been like that for long. In the last year or so I have really learnt to love myself, to appreciate myself and to value myself in a way that I never did before and I hope that is what this person saw in me. However, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, be careful not to cross it. 

3. Love yourself and look better. This is simple - if you love yourself you want to take care of yourself, but you will also radiate positive, strong energy and people will see that from you. You'll stop worrying about your little imperfections and start cherishing your beautiful features. 

4. Happier relationships, love life and family connections. Again, very simple. If you love yourself, you feel more confident, and act and connect better in relationships. You won't be so prone to jealousy or other very poisonous feelings when it comes to love and relationships. Also, family dynamics will be so much better and stronger when each member loves and values themselves and won't let others treat themselves poorly.

5. Helps you to stop procrastinating. When you believe in yourself, you will achieve your goals better. A big part of loving yourself is believing that you have what it takes to get where you want to be, and stop creating excuses that are holding you back. 

6. Better mental health. Loving myself makes me a happier, healthier me and it is easier to swerve away from the self-loathing, self-defeating and self-destructive thoughts.


Last but not least...

7.You're happy to be by yourself and don't constantly crave attention, company or other people's approval. I think everyone should be their own best friend. The older I've gotten, the more I have started to appreciate my own company and spending Friday evening writing on my laptop, reading a good book or binge watching something on TV, without the constant need of checking my phone or sending a dozen messaged within 10 minutes. You should be content being on your own, not always needing to be surrounded by a large group of people and wanting their acceptance or needing them to boost your happiness. Happiness and peace of mind comes from the inside and there's no better way to find them than to spend some me, myself and I time.

What do you guys think, where does self love come from?

Be your own motivation.

Motivation. What is the factor in your life that makes you get out of bed at the crack of dawn? What makes you sit in the rush hour traffic, or in that packed subway train that takes you to work, where you'll spend the next 8+ hours of your day and then trek back the same way in the evening?

What is the power that keeps you going? Is it an internal factor, a power that comes from inside you, something that you truly want, or is it an external factor like your mother telling you to get up and go to class, or that humongous credit card bill that is waiting to be paid?
I truly hope it is the first one - an inner force, an inner power, an inner motivator that gives you the strength, that gives you the energy, that gives you the spirit that says "Hey, I can and I want to do this!"

But what happens when you lose that force? There are days when you just feel like giving up. When you don't feel like the effort is worth the results anymore. When you feel like you've given 100% of yourself, but the reality doesn't match with the expectations and you didn't achieve what you wanted.

I have struggled with these issues many times myself, and now that I feel like I'm in a good place and good, positive and successful things are finally happening in my life, I sat down and looked back at the times when I felt lost, helpless and tired, and tried to remember what pushed me to keep going. Here's what I came up with:

1.Visualize. Close your eyes and imagine how your life looks like once you've overcome your obstacles and achieved your goals. You might not feel the feeling of success right now, but imagine how it will feel like once you get there.

2. Write it down. Write your goals down on a piece of paper, or if you're a technical wonderchild, on your device. Take a look at it every day and remind yourself what you want to achieve. Write down where you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years or even 20 years! If these times feel too far away and still slightly out of reach, you can even start with where you see yourself next month.

3. Boost your ego. There's something amazing about everyone, even when you don't quite feel like it. What's your talent? What are you good at? Remind yourself of all the good features about you and cherish your skills.

4.To do -lists. Write down your weekly tasks, no matter how big or small they are. Cross them out once they've completed and feel the powerful feeling of accomplishing things. 

5. Talk to your friends and family and let them encourage and support you. Share your goals and make them public, that way it is easier to keep yourself on track.

6. Take your mind off things and reward yourself. Life can't be all hard work and no joy. Once you've overcome a hard task, reward yourself for it.

7.Don't let setbacks get to you. It's better to try and fail, rather than not trying at all and regretting it later. Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.

8.Read motivational success stories. The world is full of successful people who are sharing their stories and want to help you to get there too! 

9.Take small steps. Rome wasn't built in a day. Set yourself small short term goals that are relatively easy to achieve in order to build your confidence and prepare you for the bigger goals in the future. Set yourself enough time to actually keep your goals realistic and achievable and stick to your time frames, however don't give yourself too much time as then it is easy to lose the momentum and the spark. 

10. Do something that you truly enjoy. Working in a job or studying a subject that you actually have interest in, makes your tasks so much more easier. While life is full of tasks that you might not quite enjoy, or you're not in the career path yet that you love doing, remember that this phase is only temporary and it is only there to prepare you to the right path.

These are very general ways to find your inner strength and motivation, and there are certainly dozens and dozens more. What works for me, might not work for you and vice versa - we are all different! But once you find your energy source, keep it! Cherish it, value it, keep it shining bright and don't let the setbacks throw you off the course. 
We are all humans but we all, every single one of us, have the power to be the best version of ourselves. 

What's your motivator? 

Peace, please?

While I'm not any more interested in politics than an average person is and I really try to avoid reading too much about social media posts related to politics and I do my best not to post anything under that category, this is one that I simply can't pass.


As an immigrant myself, as an immigrant for the second time in a second country, it makes me truly upset and sad to see what is going on in the world right now. The hatred, the racism, the judgement, the stereotyping.. it's all something that should not happen in this time and age. It is 2017 and country leaders are sowing seeds of hate and anger into people like it is the 1940's.  Last summer I left the UK feeling like a foreigner, after living in that country for several years, a country that I had made my home; but after the whole Brexit vote, I along with a whole bunch of other Europeans, felt unwanted and in that sense I was happy to leave.

I'm not going to even mention how it feels like living in the US right now, after seeing and hearing what the new president has already done, only after about a week in the office. I'm not from a country that faces a lot of prejudice or racism, neither do I get insulted cos of my skin colour, my hair type or my accent, but that doesn't make me any less of an alien, a foreigner, an immigrant than anyone else in this country. I can only imagine how people from countries, who face the hatred on a daily basis, must feel like.

While I understand that there are people in this world who pose a threat to other countries and the leaders need to use their power to protect their citizens and their freedom from those groups of people, they are only a minority and so many other completely ordinary families and individuals get to suffer from those prejudices and hate.

The world can be such a depressing, aggressive and a scary place and it surely doesn't make it any better that people with such big amounts of power, money and publicity act like this and spread fear and anger through the masses.  If this all continues I might as well just move into a cabin in the woods somewhere back in Finland. 

                                           Why can't we all just love each other?

From the UK to the US.

As I'm now approaching the 6 months mark since packing up my life and moving across the Atlantic Ocean, from London to New Jersey, I thought I'd write up a little summary on how I've adjusted to life across the pond and what differences I might have come across in the short time (which feels like at least a year already though!)

In all honesty, I haven't found it that hard to adjust into life here, apart from the fact that I miss all my friends so so much but the transfer from working full time to studying has been pretty smooth, except for not being used to being a poor student!

But here's  a few things I have noticed...

1) Cars. They are everywhere. So many people drive everywhere, especially where we are. I know if you go to Manhattan and have access to the subway, public transportation is better and even for me to get to school and to most places that I need to get to, I can take a train/bus, but it's just so much more convenient to drive! Plus trains are fairly expensive here. This amount of cars leads to the problem of finding parking though,it is such a pain! Whether I'm in our neighbourhood, or at school, or visiting people in different parts around the area, you always end up driving around looking for parking and have to add that few extra minutes to your schedule to find a spot for your car. Also, the amount of bumped up and scratched cars, and DIY fixtures on them, is ridiculous. Lot of cars and drivers= lot of accidents. It's not uncommon to see a car that has the trunk taped shut with duct tape or half a bumper missing.

2) Food. Everyone knows it, the US is not famous for their healthy eating habits and obesity is a big problem here. While everyone surely knows the importance of healthy eating, it is simply fairly expensive to buy healthy food compared to sugary treats or fatty fast food. There's fast food restaurants in every corner and you can't even count how many meters of shelve space the stores have full of soda and other sugary drinks, which are cheap. Fair enough, the supermarkets I have been to have pretty good selections of veges and fruit too, but they are quite pricey. I'm shocked on the price of avocados here compared to the UK! $5 for two avocados seems like a major rip off, when I used to get like four of them for couple of pounds from my local Tesco!  Oh and big portion sizes are amazing, dinner tonight at a restaurant also turns into tomorrow's lunch at home!

3) Customer service. Okay, in this one I'm stereotyping quite badly but this is just my experience. Cashiers and other customer service employees in London are not famous of being chatty or especially friendly, with some exemptions obviously. Here, the whole culture is nicer(also, in general I mean. There are exemptions to this too!) Cashiers in stores and waiters in restaurants smile more, chat more, use their thank you's more and give you random compliments. Yes, some days you just cannot bother with your customers, I worked as a cashier too long long time ago and on a bad day, when a customer is cracking the same joke that you've heard at least a dozen times that week, you don't feel like smiling, but at the end of the day it is a part of your profession to be nice.

4) Fascination of Europe and foreign accents. All I really have to do is open my mouth and say two or three words wherever I go and I'm guaranteed to get a comment on my British accent(which FYI is not even that strong). Shops, restaurants, school, the motor vehicle office...the list goes on. The funniest one during last semester at school was in my public speaking class - I finished my speech in front of the class and one guy at the back of the class room said to me in a confused voice "That definitely is not an American accent!" "Ehm, nope?". As soon as you tell them where you are from, the questions start and the "ahh, I wanna go to Europe!" comments do not stop. Note to all Americans - you need to travel outside your country.

5) The lack of knowledge about anything located outside the US. While getting a exam permit from the Motor Vehicle office to exchange my license, I obviously had to show my passport and my current Finnish license. This led into two very confused looking faces and questions of Finland's location. One of the guys asked if "Finland was a suburb of some big city or what?" Okay okay, I am from a very small country somewhere at the back of Europe but come on! If you didn't learn any kind of basic geographic knowledge back in elementary school, it's kind of sad. I can at least tell if a place is a country or if it isn't. (Also, before any Americans come and challenge me to locate all the US States on the map I can tell that I'm able to place at least 40 of the 50 States correctly and the rest I will guess!) They also think that London is a country, not a city within a country.

6) Positive attitudes. This might be just down to the fact both countries where I've lived prior to this are pretty famous of their ability to complain. Both Finnish and British cultures live on complaining, moaning, deflating and being negative. Yes, some of the American happiness is purely fake and people do it out of politeness but in general people have more positive outlook(Well, let's see what happens now considering the current political situation in this nation, which I refuse to comment more on)

7) Gas stations. I don't know how many other States do this, but in NJ you don't have to pump your own gas while filling your car. There's a guy standing there, in rain or shine, hot or cold who you will hand your money or card and who will fill your petrol tank! I freaking love it!  I don't have to get out of my car for it and risk my hair getting all flat in the rainy weather after carefully curling and back combing it for an hour. The Americans love things being very convenient and while everyone is familiar with drive in McDonald's and such, they also have drive in cash machines at banks, drive in pharmacy windows at Rite Aid and God knows whatever else. Also, many stores are open 24/7 or at least till very late in the evening. Not saying that in London they aren't but there are so many times that I missed out on food shopping when my local shop closed early on Sundays.

While these are only some of the things I've noticed, at the end of the day, the two places aren't THAT different. Yes, I've ignored all the major differences such as health care and the fact that a lot of landlords still want their rent payments in cheques or cash(It is the 21st century! Why can't I just make bank transfer to your account??) but so far most things are just positive. There are many things I miss from the life in London( and in Finland, gosh I still miss so many food items from Finland!) but I've become quite used to many things here already and starting to feel more and more homey all the time. 

Take a chance to make a change.

If you had to make a choice between living the rest of your life in a familiar, known environment and location with a secure lifestyle, steady income from a stable job and be surrounded by the same, familiar people; or moving abroad, to an unknown country, not knowing more than one or two people from there(if even that), leaving a well paid, but potentially a dead end job, to start a new career or to study something completely different and living on a fairly low budget; which one would you choose?
Would you choose the comfortable but maybe slightly boring and numbing lifestyle or would you take a risk and see where the new opportunity takes you?

I think there are two types of people in the world - the ones who like the familiar and comfortable life and like to stay inside their comfort zone; and the ones who like to take risks, make changes and change their lives into a different direction, not fully knowing what exactly is going to happen. There are obviously different versions of this later one, for some people it might mean just changing jobs, leaving a long term relationship or moving to a new city in your country, but this time I'm talking about more drastic life changes. While there is nothing wrong with either one of these lifestyles and I've met successful and very happy people from both of these groups, I can't help but think that everyone should, at some point in their lives, take a risk and jump into the unknown.

I've been incredibly lucky in my life and have been given opportunities to live in different countries, this now being the third country where I'm living. I left my home country at the age of 20, lived in London for years, made it my new home, and now when approaching the age of 30, I'm again living in a new country, even a new continent. While none of these countries are anything exotic or complete opposites from each others, moving to a different country always takes adjusting and makes you learn so much about yourself. I am also lucky in that sense that my level of English language has always been good enough for me to be able to cope on my own. I might have not travelled in several countries, and there are so so many parts of the world that I have never seen at all, but living in different countries, being surrounded by different people from so many different cultures and settling in a new environment has definitely moulded me into the person who I am now, a person who I probably would have not become if I had never left my small home town. 

Recently, I have met some truly inspirational people, some from my home country, some from different places. All these people I'm referring to have made big changes in their lives and have achieved incredible things - travelled in numerous places in the world, worked very hard and achieved amazing international careers or left their family home to move across the globe to study in a language that is not your first.

The other day me and my partner had a great conversation about it never being too late to achieve something that you want. Ok, this conversation might have started from Googleing the 'most expensive cities to live in', to checking Donald Trump's net worth compared to some other incredibly wealthy people on this planet, but the point we got to was that you should never give up on improving yourself and working hard to achieve what you want in life. Whether it is to return to school after 10 years of not studying, starting up a business from scratch, or to learn a new language just for the sake of it. Some people find the correct path in their life at a young age, get educated in that field and land their dream job before the age of 30; they buy a house, have kids, go on regular vacations and pay their student loans off at the speed of light. On the other hand, there are people who are still trying to figure themselves out at an older age and don't find their way until much later - both of these ways are perfectly fine and not to be judged. 

Change your career if you don't like it, leave the bad relationship that makes you unhappy, educate yourself, learn a new skill, travel across the world, make friends from different cultures. No one will come and pick you up from your front door and tell you what to do(Well, unless you have an extremely pushy mother by any chance).

While I know it is not possible for all of us, but I would still recommend everyone to spend some time in an unfamiliar surrounding at some point in their lives. Whether it is a different country, different state or just a different city. Somewhere where you don't feel 100% comfortable in the beginning, somewhere that makes you feel a little nervous, but the good kind of butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of nervous, somewhere where you have to handle things on your own and learn something new. The world is such a huge and an amazing place that it is such a waste to be spending it in one spot and never see how people live on the other side. It could be an exchange year abroad while in university, doing some charity work for an organization in a different location, extended vacation to a different country(and yes you have to leave the resort and go an explore further than the poolside area) or looking for a new job in a different part of your country. Everything takes time, money and some planning but if you are focused and make a plan, it can all be achieved. While it might be a big risk and sometimes things don't quite go to plan but I can guarantee you that you'll regret more if you don't do it than if you took the chance and made a change. Even if worse comes worst and you end up unsuccessful in whatever you tried to do, at least you TRIED and you'll have one hell of a story to tell your grandchildren. Life is way too short to make it boring.

Yes, I might be paying off student loans and credit card payments for quite a while now, as nothing comes for free and money does not grow on trees, but when I become old and grey, sitting in my rocking chair sipping tea (or possibly champagne) while watching my grandchildren run around, I can never say that I didn't take risks or do anything different in my life. You'll only been given one life, why not make the most of it?

What's your type?

As much as we think we know ourselves and the way we react to events in our lives and act in social situations, especially the older we are, it isn't always the case. I've always had this certain image of my own personality, thinking I know who I am, thinking I know my

personality type and regardless of the fact that I'm a typical Gemini and have two sides to my personality, I've thought I'm quite aware of myself and who I am. But lately, probably due to the big changes in my life situations I've noticed completely new sides in my personality. I've always been quite social and enjoyed social gatherings and going out, but lately I've enjoyed my own company more and it hasn't bothered me that my social life has not been busy at all(Or it might just be down to the fact that it is cold outside!). I've also handled stressful situations quite well in the past and kept my cool, but lately even that has been more difficult. I've been more emotional and felt much more vulnerable than before, for some reason. Nothing alarming, and I think it is just a phase - me reacting to certain situations happening in my life right now, but it is interesting to see these kind of changes in my own personality.

I had a conversation the other day with my friends about us never really knowing what kind of a person we will end up being in life and how our personalities evolve in course of our lives - the events we face, the people we interact with, the places we see and live in, they all mould us continuously and we keep changing until the day we leave this Earth. 

I came across this personality test online and found it very interesting. Now, normally I don't really believe in all these Internet tests and think you really should not pay much attention to them, but even though this one didn't have a huge amount of questions, I think they were pretty good and the personality type I got was suitable to what I have thought about myself. I still have to read the whole, extensive description of my personality type, which was "the consul" ,as there are several different life areas that they have written descriptions, but for what I've read so far it has been pretty accurate.

I think it helps you in life if you become more familiar with your personality type and read about it online. Yes, a lot of all this so called Internet psychology is just a bunch of BS, but some of it can actually be very helpful ,especially if you're a bit unsure of where you stand. It can help you in social situations, adapting to a new job or a new school, or help with personal relationships. 

For example, sentences like this make me feel pretty damn good about myself, as I've hoped something like this would be the description of me as a friend,

"Consuls are a very social personality type, seeking large circles of friends and proving themselves more than willing to spend the time and energy necessary to maintain these relationships. Loyal and warm, Consuls are known for standing by their friends no matter what, and providing a constant source of emotional support and encouragement."

Fair enough, I might not be acting exactly like this description says all the time but it's pretty heart warming to read it and think this is how my personality type is considered to be - in general. 

Also, what it said about consuls in romantic relationships was almost scarily accurate:

"If they feel like this support isn’t there, such as when their partners deliver criticism, Consuls can feel extremely hurt. People with the Consul personality type dislike conflict and criticism, which can make it challenging to address any problems that come up. Nothing is more hurtful or depressing to Consuls than to realize that their partners don’t respect their dreams or opinions. Consuls can be surprisingly tough and tireless in the face of hardship, but they need to know without a doubt that their partners are behind them 100%."

Yes, some of this stuff might be just complete gibberish and the result you get might not be as accurate as I feel the one I got is, but go ahead and give it a try. I think analyzing your personality is super interesting and it really helps you to understand yourself a little bit better. I'm almost 30 years old now, but right this moment in my life there are so many things that I feel insecure about and I need to find the correct path and make the right choices for myself and the important people in my life.

Or maybe I just need this long winter break to be over and the new semester at school to start so I don't have all this time in my hands to be overthinking everything!

Find the test HERE and let me know what your results are! I'd be interested to hear if the personality type it gave you is what you thought you'd be like and if the description matched to you at all.

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

In general, I don't normally get too bothered or interested in celebrities or follow their antics that much( apart from an occasional Kardashian/Jenner related gossip session with my best friend) but one thing that I do admire, is celebrity couples who have made their love last and they still appear in public happily together, in this world that is full of quickie marriages, divorces, where hooking up with every Tom, Dick and Harry and cheating is more of a normality than an exception. To celebrate true love and commitment to one another, I wanted to make a little list of my favourite celebrity couples.(They are not in any particular order, they're all equally amazing.)


David and Victoria Beckham 
These two are pretty much the ultimate couples' story. They were both pretty much nobodies when they got together, built both of their careers, survived through a cheating drama and are both successful in their fields, have beautiful children and do I even have to mention how many much money they have made. 


Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith 
These two, just the way Will Smith looks at his wife tells it all. They're just amazing and are clearly on the exact same page in their relationship and know where they stand, without judging each other or putting each other down. Both have successful acting careers, their children have created careers themselves too and the whole family seems to just have it all together.









Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan-Tatum 
I mean, if you're married to Channing Tatum, you'd most likely do anything and everything not to lose him, right? When you're both this gorgeous and funny, what else can you expect from your relationship. Jenna recently said in an interview something about their sex life being ' very happy and healthy'. Duh, I would have that too with her body and a husband like Channing.( Search for "lipsync battle jenna channing" and I swear you'll understand what Mrs Dewan- Tatum is talking about)



Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi 
Ah, I just love Ellen. She's super funny, and regardless of all the millions she has made from her TV career she seems very down to earth and chilled. She also regularly makes tributes to the love of her life, her wife Portia, on TV and social media and I think that is super cute, after being together and married quite a while. 

Beyonce and Jay Z
To start with, I think there's much more to the life of Queen B and Jay Z than the media knows and there surely are plenty of rocky roads in the path that they have been through together, but the fact that the media has very little information about their personal lives is incredible. When you're both this famous and the media follows your every single step you make it is remarkable that they have managed to stay so private. Even that infamous elevator episode and the whole "Becky with the good hair" episode left people wondering what the hell is actually happening with them. Even if he's a cheater like it has been claimed, they've managed to hold it all together so well and minded their own business - which is why they made it to my favourites.


John Legend and Chrissy Teigen
Three words - ultimate relationship goals. All you have to do is follow these two on Twitter and you'll find out why. They make fun of each other on social media and are so cool about it, the latest being when John Legend's name was spelled wrong on the name tag at the Golden Globes - Chrissy Teigen tweeted a photo of this with the caption "Bahahaha loser". Also not to mention the gorgeous little baby girl they have together. Ahhhh.



My Mom and Dad
With all these couples being ah-so-amazing and the strength they have, the lives they share, the happiness they (at least seem to) have makes me raise my hat to them, the ultimate couple who I will always admire the most are my own parents. They will celebrate their 38th(!!!) wedding anniversary this year and have survived through all sorts of life situations together. That ,if something,  is amazing and I will be so lucky if I ever get to find that kind of stability and partnership in my life, let alone to stay married for that long.
#since1979