They say you need to love yourself before you're ready to love anyone else, or before you're ready for someone else to love you. We all have those days of self loathing and wondering why the heck am I like I am, but at the end of the day, you are the best thing that's ever happened, and going to happen, to yourself. If you don't love yourself, appreciate yourself, value yourself and think in your head every day that " girl(or guy!), you're pretty damn amazing!", then how can you expect anyone else to think that way? A big part of attraction towards other people, and especially the opposite sex, is the way you carry yourself, the way you represent yourself, and the way you show the world that you're ready to kick some ass if you need to.
Here's a few reasons why it is so very important to love yourself and how do you learn to cherish all the amazing features you have in you (even on the bad days).
1. You will accept yourself. You might not like the shape of your nose, or the super annoying high pitched laughter you have, or even the short temper you sometimes just simply cannot control, or the fact that sometimes you just can't succeed in every single thing you do. But when you love yourself, you will accept your flaws, your quirky features, your little unique traits and potentials. When you love yourself, you don't have the need to compare yourself to others and therefore affect your self image in a harmful way. You'll feel powerful and inspired.
2. It's a huge confidence boost. Yes confidence can come from external factors, but you are the most important person in your own life - so it should be your own opinion about yourself that gives you the confidence to carry yourself with pride. Act with confidence and you'll surely attract some good people in your life, it is a well known fact that we are attracted to confident people. I was told the other day by someone that I am probably one of the most confident woman they have ever met in their life, but trust me - I don't always feel that way and I certainly have not been like that for long. In the last year or so I have really learnt to love myself, to appreciate myself and to value myself in a way that I never did before and I hope that is what this person saw in me. However, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, be careful not to cross it.
3. Love yourself and look better. This is simple - if you love yourself you want to take care of yourself, but you will also radiate positive, strong energy and people will see that from you. You'll stop worrying about your little imperfections and start cherishing your beautiful features.
4. Happier relationships, love life and family connections. Again, very simple. If you love yourself, you feel more confident, and act and connect better in relationships. You won't be so prone to jealousy or other very poisonous feelings when it comes to love and relationships. Also, family dynamics will be so much better and stronger when each member loves and values themselves and won't let others treat themselves poorly.
5. Helps you to stop procrastinating. When you believe in yourself, you will achieve your goals better. A big part of loving yourself is believing that you have what it takes to get where you want to be, and stop creating excuses that are holding you back.
6. Better mental health. Loving myself makes me a happier, healthier me and it is easier to swerve away from the self-loathing, self-defeating and self-destructive thoughts.
Last but not least...
7.You're happy to be by yourself and don't constantly crave attention, company or other people's approval. I think everyone should be their own best friend. The older I've gotten, the more I have started to appreciate my own company and spending Friday evening writing on my laptop, reading a good book or binge watching something on TV, without the constant need of checking my phone or sending a dozen messaged within 10 minutes. You should be content being on your own, not always needing to be surrounded by a large group of people and wanting their acceptance or needing them to boost your happiness. Happiness and peace of mind comes from the inside and there's no better way to find them than to spend some me, myself and I time.
What do you guys think, where does self love come from?
Motivation. What is the factor in your life that makes you get out of bed at the crack of dawn? What makes you sit in the rush hour traffic, or in that packed subway train that takes you to work, where you'll spend the next 8+ hours of your day and then trek back the same way in the evening?
What is the power that keeps you going? Is it an internal factor, a power that comes from inside you, something that you truly want, or is it an external factor like your mother telling you to get up and go to class, or that humongous credit card bill that is waiting to be paid?
I truly hope it is the first one - an inner force, an inner power, an inner motivator that gives you the strength, that gives you the energy, that gives you the spirit that says "Hey, I can and I want to do this!"
But what happens when you lose that force? There are days when you just feel like giving up. When you don't feel like the effort is worth the results anymore. When you feel like you've given 100% of yourself, but the reality doesn't match with the expectations and you didn't achieve what you wanted.
I have struggled with these issues many times myself, and now that I feel like I'm in a good place and good, positive and successful things are finally happening in my life, I sat down and looked back at the times when I felt lost, helpless and tired, and tried to remember what pushed me to keep going. Here's what I came up with:
1.Visualize. Close your eyes and imagine how your life looks like once you've overcome your obstacles and achieved your goals. You might not feel the feeling of success right now, but imagine how it will feel like once you get there.
2. Write it down. Write your goals down on a piece of paper, or if you're a technical wonderchild, on your device. Take a look at it every day and remind yourself what you want to achieve. Write down where you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years or even 20 years! If these times feel too far away and still slightly out of reach, you can even start with where you see yourself next month.
3. Boost your ego. There's something amazing about everyone, even when you don't quite feel like it. What's your talent? What are you good at? Remind yourself of all the good features about you and cherish your skills.
4.To do -lists. Write down your weekly tasks, no matter how big or small they are. Cross them out once they've completed and feel the powerful feeling of accomplishing things.
5. Talk to your friends and family and let them encourage and support you. Share your goals and make them public, that way it is easier to keep yourself on track.
6. Take your mind off things and reward yourself. Life can't be all hard work and no joy. Once you've overcome a hard task, reward yourself for it.
7.Don't let setbacks get to you. It's better to try and fail, rather than not trying at all and regretting it later. Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo.
8.Read motivational success stories. The world is full of successful people who are sharing their stories and want to help you to get there too!
9.Take small steps. Rome wasn't built in a day. Set yourself small short term goals that are relatively easy to achieve in order to build your confidence and prepare you for the bigger goals in the future. Set yourself enough time to actually keep your goals realistic and achievable and stick to your time frames, however don't give yourself too much time as then it is easy to lose the momentum and the spark.
10. Do something that you truly enjoy. Working in a job or studying a subject that you actually have interest in, makes your tasks so much more easier. While life is full of tasks that you might not quite enjoy, or you're not in the career path yet that you love doing, remember that this phase is only temporary and it is only there to prepare you to the right path.
These are very general ways to find your inner strength and motivation, and there are certainly dozens and dozens more. What works for me, might not work for you and vice versa - we are all different! But once you find your energy source, keep it! Cherish it, value it, keep it shining bright and don't let the setbacks throw you off the course.
We are all humans but we all, every single one of us, have the power to be the best version of ourselves.
What's your motivator?
2. It's a huge confidence boost. Yes confidence can come from external factors, but you are the most important person in your own life - so it should be your own opinion about yourself that gives you the confidence to carry yourself with pride. Act with confidence and you'll surely attract some good people in your life, it is a well known fact that we are attracted to confident people. I was told the other day by someone that I am probably one of the most confident woman they have ever met in their life, but trust me - I don't always feel that way and I certainly have not been like that for long. In the last year or so I have really learnt to love myself, to appreciate myself and to value myself in a way that I never did before and I hope that is what this person saw in me. However, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, be careful not to cross it. 
4. Happier relationships, love life and family connections. Again, very simple. If you love yourself, you feel more confident, and act and connect better in relationships. You won't be so prone to jealousy or other very poisonous feelings when it comes to love and relationships. Also, family dynamics will be so much better and stronger when each member loves and values themselves and won't let others treat themselves poorly.
