L.O.V.E.

How do you define love? There are so many different kind of loves, but I'm now talking about the romantic type of love. The one you feel for your husband, your wife, your partner, your soulmate. 

If you search on Google for the "definition of love" you get "an intense feeling of deep affection", "a person or a thing that one loves" and " feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone". These are all pretty accurate descriptions of the word but what does love really consist of? What makes love genuine? How do you know you love someone, and not just 'like very much'?

I've been thinking about questions like this lately( as if I haven't had enough on my mind already with equations and radicals from my algebra class, or things such as thesis, ethos and pathos from my English 101 class..) For some people love happens more than once in their life and they believe each one of these loves has been "the one"; then there are people like me who have only been in love once in their life and are really and truly hoping for that one to last till they're old and grey. 

But how do you know when you actually love someone? Not just like them, or lust for them? Love and lust often go hand in hand and it can be hard to tell the difference between them. I think it is love when you're not only attracted to someone physically and don't long after them only because of their physical presence, but also because you worry for them, you wonder if they had anything to eat today, if they got to their destination safely or you just want to hear their voice on the phone. Even if you don't see them for days, or for weeks, or in my case for months, they are the first person in your mind when you wake up and the last person you think about when you go to bed. You want to share your thoughts with them, you want to tell them even the smallest little events in your day and want to know silly things from their day, such as if they had water or maybe a soda to drink with their lunch. Love makes you silly, love makes you care about the smallest little details, love makes you seriously worry over anything that has to do with them - the rash on his chest or the bad dream that kept him awake last night. 

 

It is fairly easy to fall in love - some people it happens in an instant while some are more protective over their feelings and take longer to let their guard down. But how do you make love last? How do you keep that exciting, sparkling feeling of new love? When the so called honeymoon period ends and reality kicks in, it is some times easy to question your love for someone. When you're listening to someone's snoring night after night, arguing over the smallest of things and repeating yourself like a nagging mother when all you want is a little piece of the romance, attention and excitement that you had in the past. That is when the authenticity of your love and feelings are truly tested. There come times when you just feel like giving up, letting it all go and going your separate ways. There's no denial in the fact that everyone gets these feelings but the important part is when you know how to deal with them. You don't go into despair and curse the whole relationship out, you don't go to your best friend and swear by leaving him right there and now (when she knows that tomorrow you'll be calling him the 'best boyfriend ever' again..) Those moments you have to stop and listen to your heart. Is it something that you can sort out? Is it something that even if it happens again, you can deal with it and not dwell on it for days and days. Is it something that isn't as strong as your love is?

In today's busy world it is easy to forget about showing your other half how much they mean to you. When the days are filled with work, studying, paying rent, paying bills, doing laundry and running errands it is easy to forget the perfect little moments that can mean so much in a relationship. Like how he commented on your nice looks in the morning when you're rushing out of the house, texting you in the middle of the day just to say he loves or misses you, covering you with a blanket when you fell asleep on the couch or squeezing your booty when you walk past him. Little acts of romance and affection are important, very important, no matter how old or new your relationship is. You should do regular date nights - it doesn't have to be anything fancy or expensive, but just to show that you enjoy each other's company and want to do things with them. Every now and then you should go out of your way and treat them to something special. I saw a great idea on social media some time ago, when a couple did secret date nights to each other, taking turns every month. You only tell your partner date and time and maybe dress code, but that's it. You could take them on a big day out, like helicopter rides or touristy days out in the city; or you could book a nice couples' massage and go to a pizza place for dinner. Use your creativity, it is not about budget or how big your surprise is; it's about the mystery, the fact that you're making an effort for your loved one. 

Regardless the state of your love, or how old or new it is, if you are one of the lucky ones that have found someone to love and the person loves you back; you need to cherish it. Cherish it, protect it, fight for it, flaunt it, do everything in your power to make it last. Lot of people of our generation think of love as something disposable- if there's a little hiccup there, you let go of it and find something easier to replace it. While I'm not encouraging you to stay in a bad relationship and you need to think about your own happiness and security, I'm reminding you that true love is extremely to find and you should never waste it for something petty. It is a very worn out saying but it is very true - never lose a diamond while collecting stones.